The Art of Receiving

Give and…..  – finish the sentence.

I would almost put a bet on you finishing the sentence with the word  “Take”.

Give and Take is a phrase many of us use every day.  Yet how does it make you feel? Does it make you feel abundant and prosperous?  Or more like there is no real winner and you are probably having to compromise on something you really wanted?

Give and Receive

How about replacing the word “take” with the word “receive”?

“Give and Receive” is the natural cycle of abundance, yet it is something loads of people struggle with.

For many the “Give” part is easy to do because most of us have been trained from being little children to give to others, to think of others before ourselves and to refuse gifts or compliments.

We have been trained that it is selfish to demand what we want and so many of us have a low measure of what we feel we are worth or we deserve.

So many people can selflessly give of their time, money, business services or anything else that anyone wants. Yet those same people can really struggle receiving the good that is their birthright.

“Well!” I hear you protest, “I wouldn’t refuse a big lottery win or an inheritance or a large pay rise!”

Agreed, you probably wouldn’t but you may be blocking that from coming to you by refusing small things in your life.

Has anyone ever told you that your clothes look lovely? And have you ever cast that compliment aside with “O, this old thing!”?

Or have you ever almost had a fight with a friend when they have offered to buy you lunch and you have insisted on paying your share or that you were going to pick up the tab?

Have you ever refused money when you have done someone a favour, such as walk their dog or take them to the supermarket?

Or told someone they should not have bought you a present for your birthday or Christmas?

If you have ever caught yourself doing or saying any of those things, can you remember for a brief moment, the look on the person’s face when their gift or help was refused?

Most of us love to give because it makes us feel good.  However the ability to gracefully receive- with a smile- is just as crucial. It is part of the cycle.

Refusing to Accept Gifts

Refusing to accept good things blocks the flow and damages the cycle.  We are all givers and we should also all be receivers. We cannot be solely one or the other.

A few years ago, we had just sold a property and were feeling very prosperous financially.  The husband of a friend of mine had the opportunity to go on an expedition to climb Mount Everest.

He had to fund part of it himself and my friend set about raising money for him.  She baked and sold cakes, did a sponsored run and all sorts of other fundraising activities.

I offered her £500 as a gift towards this. Why? Because I wanted to, because I wanted to help and I thought it was a fabulous opportunity for him.

She refused the gift, saying she thought it would damage and compromise our friendship.  I felt so hurt and so upset.  I did not really know what to do with that money, as nothing I could think of seemed to give me as much pleasure as that gift would have done.

I felt like I had been hit with a sledgehammer. From there on, our friendship degenerated considerably.

Constantly giving is not as selfless as we have been taught because if you give constantly and never allow yourself to receive, you cannot nurture yourself and replenish your ability to give.

Yes Please

On the other side, I was told about a lady who was about to retire.  Her work colleagues planned a collection for her and asked what she would like as a leaving present.

Most people would say “O, nothing really!” and leave the givers wondering what to do with the money and probably end up buying something the person did not really want.

This lady, however, piped up with “Thank You very much.  If you collect enough, I’ll have a diving  wet-suit, please!”

We put out our requests to the Universe for something and then refuse to accept it when it comes back, probably because it often comes back in a way that is different to what we requested and we don’t recognise our own request.

Maybe our request was for more money and a new introduction comes back, which is not what we asked for as we were expecting a lottery win or a loan to be repaid.

We often expect our good to come in a certain way from a certain person and so can shut ourselves off to other possibilities.

Top tips for Receiving

  • Accept compliments with a smile
  • Allow a friend to buy you a coffee or lunch or a meal
  • If someone offers to pay you for something such as walking the dog or petrol money, gracefully accept it
  • If you get an offer of help in any way, accept it, whether it is someone carrying your shopping or getting something off a high shelf for you
  • Pick up pennies in the street
  • Expect to receive gifts, compliments, freebies, good deals, discounts, vouchers etc
  • Think of yourself as lucky and tell yourself you are lucky and good things come to you

Practise and have fun. Watch someone’s face light up when you gratefully accept something they have offered. That is a priceless experience!

With abundant blessings

Amanda Goldston